1.   "Job: Professional punching bag."~Dave

2.   "I would have given my left nut to be with 'Heather Grohl'"~Dave

3.   "Dude, She's ganna watch"~Dave

4.   "Shhhhhhh...(after a second of no one being quiet)..Alright..(Smiling)..SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"~Dave, Utah 2003

5.   "It all started when i had this narly hang over...like 10yrs ago..when I wake up I wanted to puke..then I thought ..I want stinky cheese!"~Dave

6.   "I don't need y ou dude!....Craig is he going to start crying again!?"~Dave

7.   "Coggpiece!"~Dave

8.   "I love Brittany Spears videos!"~ Dave

9.   "I'm a slave for you!...Holy bageezus!"~Dave

10.   "So I ripped off Ozzy Osbournes 'Mama I'm coming Home' because it was such a huge smash hit, and I kinda reworked it a little bit and this is what it turned into" (Starts to sing My Hero)~ Dave

11.    Interviewer: "If you were marooned on a desert island with no food, which member of the Foo's would you eat first?

Taylor: " Nate, our bass player. Why? Because he has a meaty butt!"

12.   "I like hearing, 'Mr. Peanut, it's 8:30. Time to wake up.'"~Dave

13.   "I was in Nirvana! Get your ass back here!"~Dave

14.   "..at least they dont throw mentos anymore..that's sooo 1995"~Dave

15.   "That's Retardo"~Dave

16.   "Soo...( Looks around)..You wanna get drunk and fuck?!"~Dave

17.   "Once upon a time there was this thing called grunge.  Then No Doubt got popular, and that was the end of it."~Dave

18.   "Love thy Broghter Mother fucker!"~Dave

19.   "I think punk rock is a relative term.  I think punk rock is whatever you make it.  If yout hink your punk rock because you spike your hair then your punk rock.  If you think your punk rock because you don't eat meat then your punk rock.  If you think your punk rock because you drink 6 pints of vodka in 30 minutes....Whatever you know?  I think sometimes I feel punk rock and other times I feel like a housewife!"~Dave

20.   "I have the most kick-ass stereo, which is actually stuck in a BMW M5.  I have a 6 CD changer with ELO's greatest hits on CD-1; CD-2 I got slipknots Iowa.  I can't remember what's in 3....Oh, Yeah, 3,4,5, and 6 are all me..."~Dave

21.   Dave:   And you know, I think if you're 13 or 14, love really is a battlefield

Taylors Thoughts:   *air drums* WHOAOOWHOAOOWHOAOOOWHOAOOWHOAOOWHOAOO!

22.   "K...The telepromter stopped.."~Dave

23.   "Oh my got it keeps going!"~Dave

24.   Dave Grohl is the enviable man with the ability to fall asleep at any moment, wherever he goes.

Dave: I usually do that on planes.

Taylor: A lot of the time though you just act like you're asleep so that you don't have to talk to me.

25.   Nate: What's the message board for?

Dave: It's for people to talk about our hair.

26.   "To me, being cool isn't about being cool; it's about being yourself."~Dave

27.   " We're the resident heavy metal band....so everyone from Glen Burnie just gather around so we can have a little heavy metal experience."~Dave

28.   "I couldn't get this song out of my head, and it's not even a dance song it's just this slow love shit.  Lord I love it, I don't know what to do.  In Nirvana, Krist Novoselic joked that he was going to call his Autobiography "What the Hell Was I Thinking?" Now I know what he means.  Do I need a shrink?"~Dave  on a Spice Girls song

29.   "I sweat my ass off.  So I take my shirt off."~Taylor

30.   "If he shaved off his goatee and his little side things, he'd look like a girl and I'd be like 'Oh my god.  I wanna do her!'"~Taylor on Chris

31.   " I swear to god, we have the best jobs in the world, besides porn star guys."~Dave

32.   "Sing along, make your freinds happy, and impress them with your rock singing VOICE!"~Dave

33.   "Ok, I like this song.  I don't like any of the other ones because it makes a whole set.  It's a new song...That I like.  It's called TIMES LIKE THESE."~Dave

34.   "I love cheese.  I don't need crackers I just eat it on its own."~Dave

35.   "Seriously, I'm just a sappy romantic.  If I'm your boyfreind you are going to be showered with endless affection and non-stop sexual escapades.  Love's a drug for me. I haven't done drugs since I was 20 yrs old, so that's what I get off on."~Dave

36.   Space Ghost:  So what's the deal with Foo?

Dave: Foo's good.

Space Ghost:  So, your pro-foo, and not anti-foo?

37.   "Hey, I was in Nirvana, get your ass over here!!"~Dave

38.   "Aren't you just sick of songs like this ( plays into All My Life) and hearing it on the radio so much....*Laughs*..No the truth is I ring up the radio station and say "If you play it again I will suck your dick."."~Dave

39.   "Everybody has to have their pop crap token love song...you know boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl tells boy to fuck off!"~Dave talking about Big Me.

40.   "One of my proudest moments was when Grant Hart (Ex  Husker Du drummer/singer) said to me, "Dave, you're doing a great thing for drummers everywhere!"  That choked me,let me tell you!"~Dave

41.   Dave:  Today we did New Orleans like at 1:00 in the afternoon.

Interviewer:  What were you doing playing New Orleans at 1:00 in the afternoon?

Dave:  We played New Orleans.

42.   Taylor:  We didn't do anything, me and my girl just sat around and smoked pot.

Interviewer:  Hey.

Taylor:  We just sat around.

43.   "I saw recently on the cover of spin, my favorite mag, Matchbox 20, and the little headlines was something like 'Revenge of the Regular Guys' and they just looked like idiots."~Nate

44.   "Y'know, we're spending a lot of time doing it, and sometimes when you get really tired, you just sit down and get a little....well...creative."~Chris on promoting

45.   "I'm not down with goat cheese I just imagine sucking a dirty goat's tit.  Whereas, a cow, with those big, supple, handlebar nipples, I'll suck the hell out of those."~Dave

46.   "We probly get more parents at our fucking shows then kids these dayz.  We should have a special sticker on our records.  'CAUTION', Children's Advisory.  Your parents will dig this.  Do NOT buy!!"~Dave

47.   "Everybody got their beer and their fuckin' glowsticks?"~Dave

48.   "I fucking love you all!"~Dave

49.   "As you can see, I like to sing full on.  Sometimes the pipes get a little sore.  Tonight, however, the pipes are nicely lubed, thanks to the wonders of the beer bong."~Dave

50.   Interviewer:  Tell the kids what they can expect from you at the Roasting of the Weenies.

Dave:  One Big Hot Sizzling Weiner.

Taylor:  Cock Rock.

51.   Dave:  Oh come on now.  It happens.  We're not an English band- we're not afraid to say that we are humanbeings and we have to succumb to desire.

Taylor:  It's either that or get a bladder infection.

Dave:  You don't get a bladder infection from not masterbating!

52.   "You can always tell when a band is about to get shitty, they build their own studio and record a bunch of self-indulgent crap...and end up with a double album of experimental shit."~Nate

53.   "Next year is a piece of shit!  That song is so stupid!  It's weird."~Dave

54.   "Ain't it the life sounds like an Eagles song or something and I hate The Eagles."~Dave

55.   "When I was a kid I really wanted to see a U.F.O. I'd lie in my from yard saying, 'Take me, I'm here. Can you hear me?' I'd go to freinds houses and see dead grass and be like, 'That's definitely an indication of some life form landing in your backyard.'"~Dave

56.   "When I was in high school I was a total Nerd, WAS a total Nerd!"~Dave

57.   "Do I have to show my tits at every gig like Courtney Love?!"~Dave

58.   "Dave's very funny, he's like a big ham, a big honey baked ham."~Josh on Dave

59.   "I'm not down with goat cheese I just imagine sucking a dirty goats tit.  Whereas, a cow, with those big, supple, handlebar nipples, I'll suck the hell out of those!"-Dave

60.   Interviewer:  Who would you marry Taylor?

Taylor:  Myself.

Interviewer:  And who would you marry Nate?

Nate:  Taylor.

Interviewer:  Why?

Nate:  Just to piss him off."

61.   Chris:  I'm so stoaked!

Dave:  STOOOOOOOOAAAKED!

62.   "Kurt and I were sharing a hotel room.  I went in the bathroom and took a nasty dump.  He wanted to use it right when I was done, but I was like, 'No dude, you should really wait a few minutes.',  but he just shrugged and walked in.  All I heard was the door close, and a pause and then- BLARRRFGGGH!.  He just came back out and watched TV.  I was like, ' Dude, are you ok?' and he just looked at me."~ Dave

63.   " But you know us musicians...not the most reliable people in the world...that's why we never went out and got real jobs."~Dave

64.   "I actually got fat while we were in the studio eating, drinking and sitting on our asses.  I became a gross little scrub with cellulite.  Taylor said: 'Hey Dave, if you had to go to the beach now and take off your shirt, would you be embarrassed?'.  What was my answer? ' Fuck you!'"~Dave

65.   "You know...when ya get older, not only do ya puke and stuff , your ass starts hurtin!"~Dave on old hangovers

66.   "It's about having nothing better to do than trying to be other people, it really grossed me out.  Actors, just in general make me fucking suck."~Dave

67.   "Not in my bed you don't"~Taylor

68.   "One of these days I'll chase your.....cheese steak with wizz ass down!"~ Dave 2$bill

69.   "Stoned prayers is the best.  When I was in catholic school, we'd get high and have our morning prayers.  It's be like, 'Duuude, I think I just accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior....I'm going to the candy machine.'"~Dave

70.   Taylor:   Yeah he bought me a Caw CD and I bought him a new pressing....actually an old pressing...or some special pressing....

Chris:   It was a pressing.

Taylor:   It was a pressing and it was quite impressing.

Chris:   This is getting depressing.

71.   "Just don't wear socks with sandles!"~Dave

72.   "I wanna wear a dress!"~Dave 1991

73.   "Don't tell me how to make a record I was in Nirvana...the greatest Rock and Roll band of the 90's!...we changed the course of Rock music!...don't you know who I am?! I'm a millionaire!"~Dave (drunk)

74.   "YOUR ALL FUCKED!....nonononon just kidding, your not fucked......(laughs) yeah your fucked!"~ Dave Utah 2003

75.   "Now I have a raw carrot but I don't have a fucking juicer goddamnit!!"~Dave

76.    Franz:   Dave, why are we going to Sweden in Nov.?

Dave:  'Cause we need to rock man!  We need to fuckin' rock!

77.   "Yeah and its RAW!"~Taylor

78.   "Kids shouldn't smoke, but agggghhh, it tastes sooo good!"~Dave

79.   "Stairway?  Are you fucking kidding me?  That shit is hard!"~Dave

80.   "Some say you can live by the pen... but I say fuck the pen, 'cause you can die by the sword!"~Dave

81.   Dave A.:   Do you like Hard Rock?

Dave Grohl:   I love Hard Rock.  I live for Hard Rock.   I rock hard.  I'm rock-hard right now!

82.   "whenever people ask me where my favorite place in the world is, I usually say Ireland...I swear to God on my life!  I have Irish relatives....I DO!  My mom's maiden name is O'Hanlon!  And my grandfather set up the school system in the state of Missouri!  I sometimes say that to get free pints... and it usually works!"~Dave

83.   "What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?!?  -------- Hey guys, lets try one of my songs!"~Dave

84.   Dave:   We can't do sexy, cool, real serious videos 'cause we're ugly.

Taylor:  We're ugly and we're dumb.  We're ugly, dumb people.  But we're funny.

Dave:  We can be funny.  Like Chris.  Look at Chris, he's ugly and dumb.

Chris:   Hi!

Taylor:   But damn is he funny!

85.   "Can you hold the spotlight for a sec?  WHat the fuck is that?  The Terminator is here...throwing shit on me!"~Dave after someone threw a blinky light on stage.

86.   "SATAN,SATAN,SATAN!"~Dave

87.   "Done done...ARE YOU READY?!!?...WAHHHHH!"~Dave 2$ Bill

88.   "One of these days I'll chase your .... cheesesteak with wizz ass down!"~Dave 2$ Bill

89.   "Thanks for the beer!"~Dave 2$ Bill

90.   Interviewer:   So why did you go to school?

Dave:   For lunch.

91.   *Skips and sings* "I have a penguin with a blue hat!"~Dave

92.   "You know the difference between now and 6 years ago, is that 6 years ago the audience just wanted to sing along with you-now they want your fucking underpants!"~Dave

93.   "What do you think god looks like?  Gandolf the Grey!"~Dave

94.   "Does anyone here like crossdressing?!"~Dave

95.   "Sometimes I like to tuck my scrotem into a really tight thong, you know the ones with a thin bit of string up the back, it really attracts the girls....*Girs scream*...SEE!"~Dave

96.   "And now the buttfucking song...well it's not really called the buttfucking song, it's called 'Low'"~Dave

97.   " You just wish I was blind in one eye and couldn't see out the other!"~ Non of the Foo Just love it!

98.   Jo Whiley:   Happy Thanksgiving yesterday.

Dave:   That was good.

Jo Whiley:   Was it good yesterday?

Dave:   Oh my god, we ate ourselves into a food coma!

99.   Dave:    Fan of U2?

Taylor:   Big time....early U2.

100.   "Everybody got their beer and their fuckin' glowsticks?!"~Dave

101.   "That's like 80's sycadelia....which always wierds me out!"~Taylor

102.   "Whatever happen to the ball man?....THAT was an MTV party!"~Dave (Headbangers Ball)

103.   "It's great the bass player doesn't have rythum."~Dave on Van Halen Video

104.   *Folding arms serious like*  "'Right On' changed my life."~Dave on Van Halen

105.   Taylor:   Break into the hole, break into the hole, break into the hole!

Both Dave and Taylor:   BOOM!

106.   Taylor:   I love that video.

Dave:  Oh that video was great!...It made me read a book.   ( On Metallica's video 'The One')

107.   Taylor:   The dam was ganna break!

Dave:    Oh and it did!  (On Nirvana)

108.   Dave and Taylor:   *In weird voices singing*   Hands across the water!

109.   Taylor:   I didn't understand the power we held!

Dave:   We're Role Models.

Taylor:   ......To the children.

110.   "I was sitting nect to my mom when he turned and showed his white ass to the audience....it was great!"~Dave on Maralin Manson

111.   "Whats happening now is the Hip Hop, its not the old school....REPIZENTIN!"~Dave

112.   Dave:   I think the music scene in uh general really uh...takes a dive when we don't have an album out.

Taylor: Oh yeah!

113.   "It was kinda like a 7 layered burrito ya know?   You've got a really tastey, tastey treat."~Dave

114.   Dave:   I'm not ganna get beat up am I?

Taylor:   Pssssh, Just wear a hat!

115.   "Crazyness..who's ganna swim in that water? *Whistles*...NOOO." ~Dave